Posts tagged life

It’s amazing to me that something I used to find so challenging and uninteresting is now one of the few things holding me together.  Running.  4 miles, Tempe Town Lake, lights, people and a half dozen heron  I’m calmer and more collected than I have been in weeks.  Now if only I can sleep and wake up feeling half as good.

I haven’t officially registered but I am planning on (and therefore training like I am) running a half marathon at the end of March.  Referring to myself as training to do anything athletic feels really weird.  I mean this is coming from the girl who is so athletically ignorant that I would tell my little brother to break a leg at track rehearsal without any clue how stupid that sounds.  I put the mile goals on a calendar yesterday and have to admit I did a huge “gulp”. But we’ll see, it’s a goal, it’s something to do it can’t be that bad right?

And learned this morning, if anyone is needing motivation to get up and going the Arizona sky is beautifully gorgeous and clear at 5:30 AM.

Over a month ago I participated in the PJ20 destination weekend with my two younger brothers and their wives/girlfriends.  It was an amazing weekend and an event that really moved me greatly, something I don’t know as I was quite expecting.  Pearl Jam has been a part of my life for the majority of their 20 years in existence.  They were there for me through my angst ridden teenage years, through the growing pains of college and in adulthood they even were the soundtrack for me as I walked down the aisle.  My brothers and I all share a love of music and Pearl Jam is certainly a common thread – though I do have to go on record as saying I am the original fan in the family. 

Since the weekend I have been giving a lot of thought to music and life.  How it ties people together and the ties that people have with certain musicians though their life.  Aside from Pearl Jam there are very few groups that I have such a long history of listening to and fewer still that resonate with me in the present tense rather than bringing back a feeling of nostalgia. 

For me one of the only other musicians that fits this description is Ani Difranco.  I haven’t been listening to her as long as Pearl Jam but certainly a good long while and album after album there is always at least one song that hits me to the core.  And last night, coming home late from work I was struck again by her.  I have been going through some pretty heavy life changes (let’s just say my left hand is bare).  A friend had given me a live album that I put in the CD player for the first time last night.  The song Dilate came on and I was in tears.  How could a song written 15 years ago, a song from an album that for some reason I skipped buying in my college years, resonate so clearly with me now?  I listened to it over and over the whole drive home gaining comfort and strength with every mile.

I am constantly amazed and humbled by the power of music to comfort, touch, heal and impress upon a person any myriad of emotions and feelings.  I wish that I had a tenth of the talent of these important people in my life and I hope to continue the relationship for years to come.

Hit the trails at Dreamy Draw again today.  Seems like just yesterday it was spring and I was doing my best to navigate trail 1 A.  Lately I feel like i look forward to summers as having so much free time in them and then regret when they pass too quickly.  And already the activities of fall are piling on me - busy work schedule and also trying to make this the year that I see more theater and music and participate more in community events.  I’m even feeling the stress of holidays sneaking up on me (which let me just say should not be stressful or looming on the calender in September) already.  And so I find myself committing to one more thing.  I think if i can get out and hike, enjoy the wilderness of the city, I will find stress melting away and more time to just be.